venting

so i am writing on our blog at 2:45 am. why? why am i awake at such an hour? i know you are wondering. as i was getting ready for bed, my pager went off for work. apparently there was a suicidal lady with long hx of depression and bipolar disorder that was in the emergency room. she wanted to go to heaven to be with her mom and could not contract for safety outside of a hospital setting. so, at 12:30am, i get dressed and drive through the snow to work. hey, i get paid, so no big deal, right? i meet with this nice lady who tells me she is not suicidal, she just doesn't have a ride home! what??? i ask her more questions. yes, she is safe. she has a therapist, she takes her medications, she has a case manager, she has a safe place to live, she misses her mom...different from what the doctor told me on the phone. and the doctor is now at home. lucky. i write my assessment and my note, update the doctor and nurse following the patient, give her suicide and crisis numbers, and call her a cab. then i go home, through the snow, and sit here at 2:45 am, because i can't go to sleep... hmm... i hope my pager doesn't go off again.